Are you Fixing and Doing your Best?
Constantly tired? Lack of energy? Close to burn-out? Check these few points that may be adding to your energy leak! Most of the time burned-out people are trapped into doing very much their inner or outer best. They often seek how they could better adapt to a situation or could please the environment. One may get stuck in a Fix IT mode by continuously draining themselves seeking a solution. The other mindset one might catch himself at is: I’m so sweet, so kind, giving away so much, but when I need sth, where is everyone?
Is it Them or is that You?
It may look like a ‘poor me’ and ‘bad them’ mindset, which turns around and around in circle without any solution. There’s definitely a responsibility which one with such a mindset must take before any change is possible: what did you miss in the beginning? How did you let it get that far? This mindset is a very subtle line, which operates from the unconscious level by attracting passive aggressive people towards ‘sweet’ you.
Situations with passive aggressive people make you for sure doubt whether it’s your fault or someone else’s responsibility. Especially if you don’t have strong identity, sense of self, clarity of you you really are and who you are not.
Invisible lines of Aggression
How to recognise an emotionally abusive person, a passive-aggressive person? Such a person is not obviously misbehaving and may not be quickly recognised:
- A person who constantly tests your boundaries. He/she does just a little bit of something that is not right, and tires to get away with it with a random explanation, blame or even emotional explosion on you.
- Such people position themselves as being always right, finding themselves great. Though if you have a discussion, would give you a very intellectual and polished opinion denying that position.
- Someone who uses not full blown insults, but these tiny things that are hurtful and then walking away from it. Gives you a silent treatment and later are acting as if nothing happened-someone self absorbed ‘it’s always about them’. Whatever feeling you would communicate, there would be no space to take it in account, or worse: be turned against you?
- Your needs and your opinions just do not matter to them. It is not that they do it purposely, they may listen to you, but will not hear you, ignore it, and turn back to the topic of their needs.
- They may have a certain charisma and be very generous or polite, especially in public, but you may see their face totally changing in private.
Caution: the toxic part of you may be kicking in.
Where does it leave you?
- You may crave to show your kindness, trying to balance the situation, to talk, to make things better or just longing for approval of the passive aggressive person that you did well. If you recognise yourself dealing with someone similar at work or at home, do not rush either to blame yourself or to victimise yourself.There’s definitely something for you to learn!The problem is actually not them… it’s your time to get aware, take responsibility back and pay attention what you do & how. Check how you deal and set your boundaries, to discover your toxic behaviour pattern that draws you to such situations and to dismiss it. All of that is very difficult to do on your own and way easier to have a trained eye to reflect from the side to pinpoint you your blind spots.
Seeking for more awareness and solutions? PM Intelligent Bodywork or contact through the website https://www.intelligentbodywork.nl/contact/ .
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